I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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