I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
