I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
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Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
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Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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