Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
