I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
