Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
