Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
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