he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
