i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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