He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
