playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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