also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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