1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
