I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
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