I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Text me some of your sweat
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