there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
