every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
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Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
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I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize