I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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