1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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