Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
