Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
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I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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