thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
