32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
My cat gives me a boner
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
