So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
