He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize