dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
