No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Houston, we have a blender
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Randomize
