i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
When are your genitals available?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize