I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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