Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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