Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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