didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
