are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
