we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
