I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
