Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
