i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
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