are you still at the devil's house?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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