So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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