Where are you?
In a non slutty way
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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