I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
nutella sex= disaster
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
