i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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