gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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