think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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