Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
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3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
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My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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