laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
