I molested 6 butterflies tonight
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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