Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
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I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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