The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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