Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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