i'm signing you up for texting rehab
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
