Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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