Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
