So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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