I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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