Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
