How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
