where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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