I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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