he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
