and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
