I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
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