saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
